Dec 07 2008
Just a woman who wants to mind her own business
I don’t know about other women out there, but sometimes being a woman is annoying.
Sure, I like shopping and chick flicks, but still, I like being respected.
Some men are very respectful toward women and that pleases me. Others I’m not so sure.
Some men still have the mentality that women are only good for cooking, cleaning and raising the kids. I think that the number of these men have decreased throughout the years because men have stayed single longer and society has changed.
What I hate about being a woman is if we speak our minds, that makes us a *female dog.* Or men think, “She’s a woman. She’s just over-sensitive or on her period.” But if we don’t speak up, we get bullied or people walk all over us.
Another bad thing about being a woman is always having to care what we look like. Of course we want to dress professional for our careers but we also want to get noticed for the excellent things we do and not only what we are wearing. A lot of people believe the way a woman dresses reflects what kind of person she is. I try to be very careful to choose articles of clothing that are conservative because I don’t want to have to worry about what will happen when I bend over to pick something off of the ground. Then again, I’m 24. I want to dress youthful and not feel like I am 80.
Sometimes I get annoyed when I go out in public places and people try to check me out. In college, it wasn’t as much of a big deal. I got whistled at when I was walking down the street in college and I didn’t know whether to be flattered or run and hide. (I mostly felt flattered then.)
A year ago I was stalked by teenage boys in Wal-mart. That ticked me off to no end. I think they were making comments about me or maybe even whistled when they were walking behind me. I was kind of freaked out and if they would have followed me to the cash register and to my car, I would have called the police.
A few months ago, I had to stop at the laundromat to get some quarters. That day I was really dressed up because I had a very important meeting in the afternoon. (Usually there are creepy people at our town laundromat so I try not to go there.) This time, there was a man who was about in his 40s. I decided to be friendly and said hello when I walked in. After I got my quarters and was walking out he said “You look very nice today.”
I could have gotten a weirder comment than that but I felt very dirty that a strange man I had never met before said something like that to me. I said “Thanks” and went to my apartment.
Trust me, I’m not one of those people that has to get attention and flirt all around. (Nor do I feel that I am drop dead gorgeous or model like.) I like to get noticed for the good things that I do. On those days that I get hit on by strange people, I feel like I have to shower. I feel just like ugh! I just want to be taken seriously. I just want to mind my own business and not get this kind of attention.
Speaking as a man in his forties who has actually said that to a younger woman who was a stranger, I can only tell you that whenever I’ve said it–since my early twenties anyway–I didn’t mean anything prurient by it. However, I’ve never gotten the impression that I made someone feel uncomfortable. My advice, for what it’s worth, would be to err on the side of caution. I’ll bet that you subconsciously picked up on a lot more of that guy’s body language and demeanor than you were even aware of.
As for the rest, just stand up and be who you are. Forget the labels certain guys use to cover up the fact that their stupidity and questionable charm didn’t win you over. Spend a little time with older couples who’ve been married for a lot of years; it’ll renew your faith in men.
Anyway, sorry to get all fatherly on you. Your post just reminds me of stuff my daughter has complained about.
I haven’t lost all of my faith in men. After all, I am getting married in about two years. I guess that I don’t expect compliments from guys I don’t know and if they do compliment me I’m like why? What’s in it for them, what’s their motive? I’ve learned very well how to stand up for myself in the past couple years. Thank you for your advice. I shall try not to freak out about that stuff.
I am married and have 3 boys. We had our children when we were young. I happened to have a good job in construction and my wife stayed home to clean the house and deal with the daily needs of the children. Now that they are older, my wife went off to finish high school and college at 32. Once she had a good job I quit mine (I cannot feel my hands when it gets cold out anymore) and finished my high school and college. This allowed me to really bond with the kids and know what goes on in their lives. I also cleaned, cooked, and did laundry. I recommend that if any man gets the opportunity to do this…to take it. It was the best 3 years ever! (and I am an awesome cook)